Before and after braces:
Hello you lovely people, and good afternoon! I hope you are having a lovely day, it's been awful weather in the UK! Hopefully we get some sun soon, I want to tan and get ready for France in August:). If you have had braces, you know the pain of what I'm about to talk about, that being both mentally and physically. If you want to know about my before braces and after braces story, have a little look below and enjoy :).
If you want to look at more advice, click here!
Side note: I was born 3 months premature, this had a huge influence to how my teeth developed later in life.
Primary School:
Primary School was the foundation of torment and anxiety. I learnt from a young age that people were cruel and completely disgusting, if you weren't the ideal image. In my case my teeth were destroyed, they grew in all the wrong places, they were bruised when they started to come through. Not because I didn't take care of them, (my parents made sure that I brushed them).
At a young age I started to realise that I didn't fit in, that children found me strange because my appearance was different. My teeth weren't straight, and this was "unnatural". I was already a shy and scared little girl, but because of this it made me an easier target, they would taunt me and tease me every single day, "you're so ugly", "do you even brush your teeth", "moldy mouth" etc. You get the point.
I got this every single day of my life throughout primary school, and this had a huge impact on my mental health. I struggled to learn and communicate. There was a time where my anxiety was so bad in primary school that when I arrived late to assembly (I had a doctors appointment); I actually hid beneath a table, cried and wet myself. All because I didn't want everyone staring at me, pointing at me, or bullying me for 5 minutes.
In the perspective as an infant I didn't know about anxiety, I was a small innocent child, who had awful teeth. I didn't know how to deal with it, but cry and talk to my mum. She would make everything better, stroke my hair and tell me stories.
Telling the teachers did nothing but make it worse, as the bullies would find another reason to pick on me.
In primary school teachers don't take bullying seriously, they say, "they are only joking". I didn't find their "jokes" funny, and nor did my parents.
Secondary School:
Year 7
It was the start of a brand new school. I knew nobody, which I thought was perfect! My parents had reassured me that there are a lot more pupils, they are more understanding, and they can relate to you because they are all in the same boat. But I was damaged. I didn't know how to talk to people, the amount of students surrounding me was overwhelming and I didn't know how to deal with it. Before you knew it I was having severe panic-attacks, and I was only 11 years old.
Before you knew it, School pictures was up, and we were made to smile. In front of all the year 7's they saw my teeth ...
As I walked out of the hall, I could hear girls laughing, while pointing their finger at me. "Ew she's hideous, why are her teeth like that". I was broken. I thought I had left years of torment behind me, I thought that this was a new start and a new beginning for me. I was absolutely devastated. My confidence (what confidence), went from nothing, to never.
As the years progressed I just learnt to ignore it, with the help of therapy. But the anxiety was still there, lingering over me. I would never smile in any photographs, whether that be School related or friend. If I laughed I would always put my hand over my face. Anything that involved teeth I was terrified of, as well as disappointed; because I knew that my teeth were awful.
Although there were some key moments in my life, before I got braces which I still remember to this day.
Moment one:
I was 17 at this point. Still frail, still hating my teeth. Me and my Sister Alice were heading into town. I man started talking to my sister, saying that he liked her checkered jeans. We smile and laugh. He turns to me and says, "you can't be sisters because you have bad teeth and her teeth her straight".
My heart sank. My eyes streaming with tears. He looked so shocked and aplogised, but the damage was done. I was 17, and people still found me disgusting.
Moment two:
I had turned 18, and I was talking to this guy, we had been talking for months, I ever met the family. He turns around and questioned me why I always put my hand over my mouth when I spoke. I told him that I was uncomfortable talking without them there, they are my protection. He moves my hands and away, and puts the back and says, "I see why". Again I was heartbroken. Me and him never spoke again, I could never look at him the same, the fact that he thought that made me sick to my stomach.
Braces off:
I cried. I cried with happiness for the first time in my life over my teeth. I had been waiting for this day for 19 years, and it was finally here. Monday June 13th 2016 was the day my braces came off. After all the torment, terrifying dentist and orthodontist experiences. After all the mental and physical pain ... I had come face to face with beautiful looking teeth. I'm crying at this very moment just typing this. I'm still shocked in the morning when I wake up and see straight teeth. I'm beyond relief and happiness. The picture below was the first ever picture I had smiled in confidently in my 19 years on this earth. And it certainly won't be the last.
Some of this won't make sense as I haven't explained my fear of the dentist and orthodontist and what happened there. I will in a separate blog-post, but it's very traumatic and overwhelming for me to write it this very second.
I really do hope that this can help some people out there, as I know what it feels like.
I will try to upload a picture before, but I'm still too scared to let that free on the internet because it's such an ugly sight for me. It brings back all the tomernt and heartache.
I really so appreciate you all for reading this post, I will write separate blog posts about my past experiences at the dentist and the orthodontist at a later date.
I hope you have had a lovely day, and stay tuned for tomorrow, I have two new vegan recipes coming your way :).
I love you all so very much x x x
