ADVICE | GETTING OVER FEARS | HOW YOU CAN GET OVER IT

GETTING OVER MY FEAR OF THE DENTIST:

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Good morning Little Ones! This year I have set myself several goals ... And I want to tweak some of them, I want to post more on my blog, instead of three days a week, I'm thinking everyday? I don't know if I will keep up with this, but I saw how much I posted in 2017; and needless to say... I was utterly disappointed. Only 17 posts last year ... How disgraceful. I can inform you, that's not happening this year! At least I can guarantee at LEAST three a week; but I know loads of you adored me posting everyday, some of my content may be boring? But let's see what I can come up with.
Now, without further or do, let's get on with today's post! Getting over the fear of the dentist!

BACKSTORY: 

Just like the majority of you, I'm pretty sure you have a fear of the dentist, and I have mentioned this on my blog before; but I have had horrific experiences at the dentist.
But, just to briefly explain some of my traumatic events: DISCLAIMER IF YOU ARE SCARED DON'T READ THIS SEGMENT.
Where to begin? My dentist was disgusting, EVERY SINGLE TIME I went, she would always comment on how disfigured my teeth were, to the point where I would cry hysterically.
I literally couldn't help it, I needed braces and I couldn't get them because my jaw needed to grow; I was stuck with teeth I hated, my biggest insecurity ... Her taunting me really didn't help, (obviously).

Unfortunately, this was the nicest part of my visit ... The worst experience I had from this specific dentist, was when I was getting a filling re-done, she drilled behind the WRONG tooth, to which I couldn't brush properly behind, within a couple of weeks I suffered extricating pain due to an infection settling in.
She mentioned that it was HER fault, and issued me antibiotics for a week. It was then time to visit the dentist, she gave me three rounds of anastetic ... She brushed her metal tool against my tooth and I was screaming in pain. The infection still hadn't cleared, it was consuming the anastetic, I FELT EVERYTHING. 

Instead of giving me more antibiotics to clear the infection, she still went ahead with the tooth extraction. It took 5 nurses to hold me down ... By the way, my mother was in the same room, shaking with fear and anger. 

Eventually, I heard a crack ... Alongside with the taste of blood in my mouth, when I clambered up, blood poured from above, of which I cried and shook with fear. 

Needless to say, this was the breaking point ... I now visit a different dentist? Private, do you blame me?

You are all probably wondering, 'Amy, how can you get over the fear of the dentist, after all this', believe me it's happening. Let me tell you how.

GETTING OVER IT:

Believe me when I say this, I NEVER thought this was going to be possible until my recent visit at the dentist a week ago. As mentioned previously, I have a new dentist, private because I gave up with the NHS ... They had failed me too many times with my teeth alone. 

When it was time, I was chilling in the waiting room ... Anxious, tears forming in my eyes, fearing what was about to take place. 

Eventually they called me name ... My legs trembled to the point where I nearly collapsed, I saw my dentist, and said, "I'm petrified".
I told him everything that had happened, and he was repulsed. He explained what he was going to do, (which I never had), and stated that he was going to take his time. 

He was so gentle, everything he did he described, and if he saw me freaking out he stopped until I calmed down. Lucky for me, there was a television above me, which really did aid the anxiety.  

The appointment totalled to 20 minutes, and there was nothing wrong with my teeth.
Normally there is always something, not because I don't look after my oral hygiene; but because with me being born so premature, my teeth didn't form correctly. 

After such a positive experience at the dentist, I can now associate something great with something I thought was terrifying. 

Changing perception is key, I think I will still be nervous in six months time, but no where near as bad. I'm so proud of myself, for being brave, and being able to face a fear, I have obtained since I can remember. 

If you've had traumatic experiences like me, if not worse, you can get over it, first and foremost, you need to find a dentist which not only explains everything; but is patient and caring towards you. Another thing, you need to get on with them, if you can't have a giggle here and there; it's going to be hard to build a great relationship with them; which is what you need.
Especially if you don't have someone there to support you on your visit, luckily enough for me, I had my fiance with me, which I'm so grateful for. 

Little Ones, this is now the end of the blog post! I hope you enjoyed this one, just a tiny bit of advice? It's not the longest story, but I will update you every time I visit the dentist, as it's a growing process; I feel confident that it can only get better. 

This applies to everyone out there with the same phobia ... I'm 20 and I still need someone there to hold my hand. Is that embarrassing? Maybe, but I have my reasons, just like all of you. 

I love you all so very much, and I will see you tomorrow! Let me know what you want to read, or I'll do what I fancy! Remember to stay safe and stay tuned! :) x x x 

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Dentist experience

My fear of the dentist 

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Disclaimer: If  you are scared of the dentist, please don't read this! 

Hello and good morning! It's a grey start to the day in the UK, but I'm here writing another blog post for you. I'm going to be sharing, my fear of the dentist and why my fear took over my life. These are true stories of what I'm about to write, it doesn't mean that these will happen to you.

If you can relate to these circumstances, you will be able to understand why I' terrified of the dentist.  

If you want to know about my before and after braces transformation click here!

Brief teeth history:

I was born 3 months premature, this had a huge impact in the growth and development of my teeth. When my baby teeth came through as bruised and oddly shaped. Seeing this as a child is shocking and terrifying. especially when you are comparing your teeth to other children's which are pearly white and pristine. I thought that when my adult teeth would come to play it would be fine. But it wasn't. They also came through as bruised, grey and white, with a hint of yellow discoloration on a few teeth. Not just that, but I had teeth above the gum-line, overcrowding and extra teeth; I looked like a shark, and that was one of the many names I was called. When it came to looking after them I was good for several years, but the bullying got to a point where I thought 'what was the actual point'; I would brush them only once a day, a few days a week. I would lie to my parents about brushing them. This made the trips to the dentist interesting.

Early memories at the dentist:

I don't remember many, but from what my mother has told me. At the age of 3 I would sit in the waiting room and cry, and this was before I had even sat in the chair of doom. She would constantly say, "your teeth need improving, they are dinosaur like". She would be rough with my mouth and make me bleed. My mum would always hold my hand, she would sit here and keep quiet. But this was just the beginning of the dentist. 

Year 6 rolled around, I was 10 years old. I remember walking to the dentist with my mother beside me and I was shaking with nerves. We entered the waiting room, check in, I would sit in the chair and sob silently. As soon as my name was called my heart was in my mouth, tight chest alongside with a burning sensation. I would walk in slowly, little legs trembling. Sitting there in the chair, piercing light in my eye, same witch inspecting my mouth. She would pull vigorously on my mouth, stating that my sisters teeth were perfect, and that mine were "awful" in comparison. As she was checking my mouth with one of the metal tools she slipped and sliced the inside of my cheek. I let a a scream and cried. "Don't fuss". I ended up calming down, after 3 nurses were called into the room. She then said "she needs a filling". Her words hurt more than slicing my cheek, I cried with nerves, thinking that this was going to be the worst pain in the world. The sound of the drill made me numb, I had nurses either side, holding my hand as a shook with fear. She was rushing the entire process, it was extremely painful, and no numbing solution was applied. I was in so much pain, I cried through the entire process, I wanted her to stop and slow down, but she wouldn't. 

This terrible experience was one of the reasons why I was so scared of the dentist. her terrible attitude and lack of care for me was another. And the dentist I attended was unprofessional. For example, the receptionist looked dirty, she wore too much make-up for work, despite her boss telling her to tone it down; as it gave the wrong impression. The waiting room was dull and uncharacteristic, and there was nothing for children to do if they were nervous. 

Year 8, it was similar to other experiences, I would cry on the way there, and have a panic attack when I was called into the room. I was also due to have another filling, I had remembered my other experiences and I was terrified. This time they tried to inject me with local anesthetic, instead of hiding the needle, she showed me what she was about to inject in my mouth, and then said, "stay still or this will hurt terribly". That being said, and she knowing what I'm like, having seen me for 8/9 years she still continued to scare me. I cried hysterically, and she told me to "don't be so stupid". When she put the needle in, 3 nurses again had to hold me down, I shut my eyes as tight as I could and waited for it to be over. Fast forward to her drilling, the sound of the drill bought me back to my various traumatic experiences in the chair. I started to panic, and then stopped breathing as it made it easier for the dentist to do her job. Me being as still as possible, she moves and misses my tooth, she drills my tongue! MY TONGUE! She was drilling my top teeth, I was being still and she moved towards my tongue...

At first I was numb, a few moments later the burning sensation started emerging, I put my hand below my mouth and it was covered in blood. I screamed and tried to move out of the room. The nurses held me down and said "it will be over soon", my dentist said in a lighthearted voice, "ops, how clumsy of me". After getting me to calm down she continued doing what she was doing. I was sobbing in the chair looking at my mum and saying that I want it to be done and over with. 

Year 10, I was 15 at this point, and I was booked in for another filling, this is because my teeth were so weak I needed artificial support. You would think that with age I would become braver, but my fear of the dentist didn't fade. I still had my mum with me, talking to her calms down my nerves but hearing my name being called into that room sets me off and makes me panic. All the flashbacks of what's happened previously put me on edge. Again I walk in slowly, with small shaky legs. Sitting in the chair, bright lights in my face. Preparing what's about to happen, 3 nurses are there holding my legs and rubbing them to calm me down, another nurse beside me holding my hand, and my mum holding my other hand. The dentist says, "you are making such a fuss you silly little girl" and then tuts. A burning sensation exerts through my body, I was so upset and embarrassed; but this was her fault for why I felt like this in the first place. She started drilling my tooth, I was complain like the previous experiences, and yet again I stopped breathing. She then move and drills the back of the wrong tooth! I scream in pain and begin to cry. The experience was over. A few weeks pass and a throbbing pain starts to settle in, it gets worse over time. Because the dentist had drilled the back of the wrong tooth I couldn't brush it properly which caused a mass amount of infection. I was in the worst amount of pain, apart from suffering with severe IBS, but that's another story.  I went to the dentist with my mum again, I was not prepared for the amount of pain I was about to endure. I went into the consulting room, and my mum had said that this was her fault, she then said "if you daughters teeth weren't so misplaced I could have done my job properly". That was a tense atmosphere. She then said, "that tooth is coming out". I puked. I was terrified, I cried like I haven't cried before. I was shaking to the point where it was scaring my mum. They had to have a total of 4 nurses and the receptionist to calm me down. They injected me with the local anesthetic, she said if I could feel anything, and I could. She gave me 3 more doses, at that point she couldn't give me anymore because it was against the policy and the law. But I felt everything. I felt the clamp ripping my tooth, I told her to stop but she didn't. She ignored my duty of care and continued. The nurses as to hold me down, I was gripping the receptionist hands so tight I made her bleed. Their was a contrast wiggle and pull for 5 minutes. I was screaming, crying and having a panic attack. I felt my root leave my mouth. From then onward everything was numb, I was in so much pain I passed out. I remember waking up and holding my chin and I was COVERED in blood. I was told that this was not normal to loose that amount of blood. I started to panic, but I was so weak, the witch told me to "be silent". She shoved a cotton bud in the whole and pushed hard, and then said "sorry"; and then smiled. 

To this current day I am still scared of the dentist, I haven't been in 1 year 6 months as I have been getting my teeth checked at the orthodontist. But I have an appointment soon and I'm dreading it. Although I have a new dentist, as the other one was fired, or as she said "she's going away". But she's been "away" for quite some time. He's a nice dentist, but I'm still trumatised with what has happened. These aren't all the stories, these are just 3 out of the many horror stories 

This was just my experience with the dentist, my sister had NO trouble what so ever, and neither did my mum. It was only ME. I feel that she done this on purpose as she hated my teeth and wanted me to feel bad. 

This does not happen to everyone, this was just my experience, the people I have spoken to this has NEVER happened to them. The more people I spoke to, the more publicity this dentist got until she was actually fired. 

Thank you for reading this post, it was a very hard one for me to make, as it gives me subtle flashbacks of the traumatic experiences. Hopefully on my next appointment I won't be so sacred, as I'm 19 and been through a lot worse with my orthodontic treatment. 

Thank you for reading this post, if you are going through this then I hope this helps you because you aren't alone. It does get better in the end, I'm still hoping that my end is near :).

I hope you are all well, and if you need to ask me any questions email me or leave a comment down below :) 

Stay tuned Little ones, see you soon :) x x x 

     

Teeth Transformation

Before and after braces:

Hello you lovely people, and good afternoon! I hope you are having a lovely day, it's been awful weather in the UK! Hopefully we get some sun soon, I want to tan and get ready for France in August:). If you have had braces, you know the pain of what I'm about to talk about, that being both mentally and physically. If you want to know about my before braces and after braces story, have a little look below and enjoy :).

If you want to look at more advice, click here!

Side note: I was born 3 months premature, this had a huge influence to how my teeth developed later in life.

Primary School:
Primary School was the foundation of torment and anxiety. I learnt from a young age that people were cruel and completely disgusting, if you weren't the ideal image. In my case my teeth were destroyed, they grew in all the wrong places, they were bruised when they started to come through. Not because I didn't take care of them, (my parents made sure that I brushed them). 
At a young age I started to realise that I didn't fit in, that children found me strange because my appearance was different. My teeth weren't straight, and this was "unnatural". I was already a shy and scared little girl, but because of this it made me an easier target, they would taunt me and tease me every single day, "you're so ugly", "do you even brush your teeth", "moldy mouth" etc. You get the point.
I got this every single day of my life throughout primary school, and this had a huge impact on my mental health. I struggled to learn and communicate. There was a time where my anxiety was so bad in primary school that when I arrived late to assembly (I had a doctors appointment); I actually hid beneath a table, cried and wet myself. All because I didn't want everyone staring at me, pointing at me, or bullying me for 5 minutes. 
In the perspective as an infant I didn't know about anxiety, I was a small innocent child, who had awful teeth. I didn't know how to deal with it, but cry and talk to my mum. She would make everything better, stroke my hair and tell me stories. 
Telling the teachers did nothing but make it worse, as the bullies would find another reason to pick on me. 
In primary school teachers don't take bullying seriously, they say, "they are only joking". I didn't find their "jokes" funny, and nor did my parents.

Secondary School:
Year 7

It was the start of a brand new school. I knew nobody, which I thought was perfect! My parents had reassured me that there are a lot more pupils, they are more understanding, and they can relate to you because they are all in the same boat. But I was damaged. I didn't know how to talk to people, the amount of students surrounding me was overwhelming and I didn't know how to deal with it. Before you knew it I was having severe panic-attacks, and I was only 11 years old. 

Before you knew it, School pictures was up, and we were made to smile. In front of all the year 7's they saw my teeth ...

As I walked out of the hall, I could hear girls laughing, while pointing their finger at me. "Ew she's hideous, why are her teeth like that". I was broken. I thought I had left years of torment behind me, I thought that this was a new start and a new beginning for me. I was absolutely devastated. My confidence (what confidence), went from nothing, to never. 

As the years progressed I just learnt to ignore it, with the help of therapy. But the anxiety was still there, lingering over me. I would never smile in any photographs, whether that be School related or friend. If I laughed I would always put my hand over my face. Anything that involved teeth I was terrified of, as well as disappointed; because I knew that my teeth were awful. 

Although there were some key moments in my life, before I got braces which I still remember to this day. 

Moment one:
I was 17 at this point. Still frail, still hating my teeth. Me and my Sister Alice were heading into town. I man started talking to my sister, saying that he liked her checkered jeans. We smile and laugh. He turns to me and says, "you can't be sisters because you have bad teeth and her teeth her straight". 

My heart sank. My eyes streaming with tears. He looked so shocked and aplogised, but the damage was done. I was 17, and people still found me disgusting. 

Moment two:

I had turned 18, and I was talking to this guy, we had been talking for months, I ever met the family. He turns around and questioned me why I always put my hand over my mouth when I spoke. I told him that I was uncomfortable talking without them there, they are my protection. He moves my hands and away, and puts the back and says, "I see why". Again I was heartbroken. Me and him never spoke again, I could never look at him the same, the fact that he thought that made me sick to my stomach. 

Braces off:

I cried. I cried with happiness for the first time in my life over my teeth. I had been waiting for this day for 19 years, and it was finally here. Monday June 13th 2016 was the day my braces came off. After all the torment, terrifying dentist and orthodontist experiences. After all the mental and physical pain ... I had come face to face with beautiful looking teeth. I'm crying at this very moment just typing this. I'm still shocked in the morning when I wake up and see straight teeth. I'm beyond relief and happiness. The picture below was the first ever picture I had smiled in confidently in my 19 years on this earth. And it certainly won't be the last. 

Some of this won't make sense as I haven't explained my fear of the dentist and orthodontist and what happened there. I will in a separate blog-post, but it's very traumatic and overwhelming for me to write it this very second. 

I really do hope that this can help some people out there, as I know what it feels like. 

I will try to upload a picture before, but I'm still too scared to let that free on the internet because it's such an ugly sight for me. It brings back all the tomernt and heartache. 

I really so appreciate you all for reading this post, I will write separate blog posts about my past experiences at the dentist and the orthodontist at a later date.

I hope you have had a lovely day, and stay tuned for tomorrow, I have two new vegan recipes coming your way :).

I love you all so very much x x x