MENTAL HEALTH | QUESTION AND ANSWER

DEPRESSION, EATING DISORDER AND RELATIONSHIPS:

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Good evening Little Ones! Today has been utterly fantastic, everything is falling back into place, I may have managed to rekindle an old relationship, but we will see what happens in the near future.

As you can tell by the title, I have an unplanned question and answer, instead of traditional questions such as, how old are you, when is your birthday etc.
 I decided to dedicate these questions and answers in regards to my mental health, as I've received an abundant amount of questions ... I'm very open about my mental health, and I'm going to obligate an entire blog post on my story very shortly. 

To ensure you are keeping up to date with my daily blog posts, click here to read more! Without any further or do, let's roll on the interview!

1. HOW DID YOU KNOW YOU WERE CLINICALLY DEPRESSED?

I've been under the thumb of clinical depression for several years, to begin with I thought it was normal to feel nothing ... As well as suicidal thoughts, I assumed it was down to stress and not being able to sleep. But these nightmares consumed me until I nearly took my own life ... Enough was enough and I decided at the age of 17 to contact my doctor, of which they prescribed me a vast amount of medication ... Two years past and the nightmares I endured fed my insomnia.
I threw medication out of the window, and decided to talk to a professional therapist, it was fantastic to begin with; but my A-Levels took over, I had no time for myself, or my mental health ... I relapsed, nearly taking my life again. 

I'm now 20, turning 21 in a matter or weeks, and I'm still the same, I feel like it's getting worse ... So I've been given the medication route again, this time I hope it works it's magic. 

I knew that when I started to self-harm, something wasn't normal ... It sounds strange and completely obvious to something that doesn't suffer with depression, but alarm bells didn't go off immediately, until I looked at myself in the mirror, and realised what I was doing. 

2. DO I HAVE AN EATING DISORDER?

Every time I see this question I cringe ... And I tell you why. I want to portray honesty here, and I find it hard to answer. 

Yes and no ... I'm not ready to go into too much detail, it used to be much worse, but I feel like I have it under control.
Just like my depression, I have good days and bad days ... I don't make myself sick, but I do skip meals on a regular basis, and I don't eat as much as I should. And yes, sometimes I worry about the calorie intake, and some days I hate the way I look, but I'm not ready to address this probably.

I don't appreciate the, "you're so skinny comments" ... Makes me feel worthless. 

3. HOW DOES YOUR ANXIETY AFFECT YOU DAILY?

Anxiety loves to appear at the best of times, take today for example, it took me 45 minutes to call an old friend, and patch up the remainder of our relationship. Before I pressed the call button, I endured several panic attacks, I had gotten myself into such a panic-ridden state, I was shaking ... And you could hear it in my voice. 

Once the conversation started to flow my nerves faded away, I started to ramble away, (which is what i do when I'm extremely anxious), after the call ended shivers ran up my spine, and I began to shake, I was freezing cold, and couldn't contain my emotions. 

On a day to day basis, depending on what I'm doing, it tingles my brain and stops me from communicating with people, hence why I shut down, and find it exceedingly challenging to build relationships; hence why I have a select amount of friends.

4. HOW DOES YOUR DEPRESSION AFFECT YOU DAILY?

Oh depression, why do you do this to me? Everyday I feel numb, I find it hard to find a purpose ... But if it wasn't for this blog, university and my dear friends and family, I don't think I would be here. 

I've changed, and I'm hoping at some point in the near future it all makes sense, I can't talk to someone; but typing in hopes of someone being able to relate is all I ask for. 

Hence why I'm answering these significant questions in the first place.

Depression latches onto my back, hoping I feed it fear, tears and blood ... It's constantly stalking me, my reaction is to bottle it up and pretend that it doesn't exist. Hence why I'm going back onto medication. 

Right Little Ones, I think this is all I can answer for now, it's taken me a total of 2 hours to write this, and I was hesitant of posting, but this may help someone out there.
I hope you enjoyed the read, please share this around, we need to help people that are suffering in silence. 

Remember to stay safe and stay tuned Little Ones! I love you all so very much! :) x x x 

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Advice-how to have a successful relationship

Successful Relationships 

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Good afternoon Little ones! How have you been today? I have just come home from work, put my feet up and needed to write a blog post; it makes me feel so much better, especially being on my feet all day. I love doing advice blog posts, and I love reading them too! When I first started blogging it's all I ever read, I was too nervous writing them on my own, but I built the confidence ... And here I am now, rambling on :'). I also know that these help you guys out a lot, and that's all I ever want to do. You all mean so very much to me, I wish I had a guide like this to read when I was getting into relationships, maybe I could of avoided certain people. But I'm here, I can't change the past :).
If you want to know the basics on creating a successful relationship, then have a little gander down below :).

If you want to read other advice blog posts, click here!

Have your own space:

Fundamentally, when you've gotten into a new relationship all you want to do is spend time with that person. Which is completely understandable, and I still feel like this with my other half. and we've been together for over a year. But there are times where you need to step back, for yourself and the relationship. It's not healthy to be with someone 24/7. Some of you may be thinking, 'but Amy you live with Chris'. Yes I do, but we have lectures on different days, plus when we are together we are with our University Friends. The only alone time we have is when we decide to make it. Which is more than enough. This gives us a healthy balance to complete our University work, socialise with our friends and still be together.
In addition to this, in regards to  your friends make sure that you don't ghost them. They were there way before you settled into a relationship. They will understand to a certain degree that you are going to be all loved up; but not for months of end ... Don't replace your friends, probably one of the worst things you can do.

Don't leave everything to one person:

Meaning. If someone is making dinner, you wash up, if they are washing up then dry up and put away. There is no point leaving one person to do all the work; it's unfair and downright rude. From personal experience this has happened to me, I've had to clean up after others while they sit back and relax ... It's not cool. It puts a downer on the mood and makes it tough on your relationship if that happens often. Whereas, if you share the workload your other half will really appreciate it, or it you allocate jobs to each individual ... That's what me and Chris do and it works really well. Jobs that he doesn't like doing I'll do, whereas jobs I hate doing; like washing the bathroom he will do. This will make your relationship fair, long lasting and successful, simply because it won't be left for one person to do, which will cause less arguments, and a happier atmosphere. 

Go out on dates:

This will probably my number one tip. Don't stop going on dates because you are now official, keep doing it as a couple. It's lovely to get out and about with your other half, it's like you are getting to know each other all over again. It doesn't even have to be a formal dinner date half the time, it can be a casual picnic, day trip to London, or a coffee at Starbucks. Just being with the person you love in a different environment occasionally is really lovely. It reminds you of why you are together and how well you are as a couple. 

What me and Chris do at least once a month we go out to our favourite restaurants, mine being Prezzo and his Nandos. We take it in times on who pays. and where we go. Simply because that's what you do in a successful relationship, you share everything. If  you can't share then there is something wrong; what are you hiding?

Put them first:

Profoundly, there will be times where you have to put your other half first, just like your friends you can't leave them out, but then again you can't do that with your partner either. If you are pushing them away because you are with your friends most of the time; then that's going to have a huge negative impact on your relationship. That person is going to start feeling lonely and unwanted, and eventually leave because they are unhappy with the way the relationship is going. Like I've mentioned previously, divide  your time wisely, balance everything out evenly; that way no one is left out. 

On the other hand, in regards to putting them first, it also interlinks with being there for them. If you have to cancel plans because of this then do it. If your other half is going through a tough time and they need you then be there for them. It sounds like common sense, but you won't believe what some people are like. I can tell you some stories about my ex's, they were flipping awful; but that's another story. 

The moral of this blog post is that if you are in a relationship, or thinking about getting into one they are not easy. It's not something that you can put half your effort in, if one person is 100% into it and your not then that's not fair on them; you are only giving half of  yourself away to that person; you need to be fair and honest to that person. Especially if  you want to have a successful relationship. 

The points that I've mentioned above are the most important ones, in my opinion anyway, they are also the points when where I was with my ex's they lacked on this. They were never there for me, or they didn't share, and they also never put me first. I learnt the hard way, but I now know what it's like to have a happy and healthy relationship; and that is with my current partner Christopher. 

I love you guys so very much, this is now the end of the blog post. I'm so sorry that this took a few days longer than normal, I was waiting on my computer getting built; but it's all up and running! NO MORE LAPTOP! :D 

If you enjoyed this style of blog post do let me know and I will do a part two sometime soon, (if you wish). 

I will see you again tomorrow with a product review and a recipe! I love you Little ones!

Stay safe and stay tuned! :D x x x

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Advice- what not to do in relationships

A guide on what not to do in relationships 

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Hello my lovely's, how are we doing today? Finally managed to get a good night sleep in me! I had my boyfriend over, I felt super safe and relaxed with him being there :).
I have been trying to post this blog post since late last night, but the WiFi wasn't having it, and then decided to delete it .. Fun times right.
I thought that it would be interesting and helpful to note down what you shouldn't do in relationships; I was treated badly in the past; from my ex's behaviours I have created a list of what not to do in relationships.
Most of these are common sense, but there are things out there which some people might not know. If you want to give this post a little read then go ahead :). 

If you want to read other advice blog posts, click here!

Background information:
I've had 3 years of experience with relationships, in this time frame I had 3 relationships (not including the one I'm in now). I'm not going to name names, but these 3 individuals taught me a lot about how bad relationships can be; because before I met Chris, I was never truly happy; simply because I was never treated right. 
I've been cheated on countless times, hurt mentally and physically. Not all of them physically hurt me, only one of them, and that was my first ever boyfriend; if you want to know more about that situation click here.
I still am a very shy and kind person, maybe I was too kind to all of them, if they wanted anything I gave my all, but in return they gave nothing back, they took advantage of my personality. But I have learnt so much from these people, I have learnt to become stronger as a person, and not have to give everything up. Now I am truly and utterly happy with Chris, we have nearly been together a year :).

Don't lie to your partner:

This sounds obvious, and for some people out there who are reading this is probably thinking I'm stupid. I'm really not. Don't lie to your other half, I can't stress enough how much this  hurt me over the years, I don't care how much the truth hurts, I can handle the truth. Lies ruin trust, which is one of the main factors in a relationship; it's the glue that holds everything together-if that is broken chances are you won't be together very long after that incidence. Female or male, just don't lie, if you can't be truthful to the person you claim to love then leave, because they don't deserve to be treated in this way.
Some of the lies that I was told was told ruined me:

• "I would never cheat on you, you're my world";
• "I love you";
• "I will always be there for you";
• "she's nobody, just a friend, she's like a sister to me"
• "I was out in town, sorry I was late";
• "my Granddad died" 

Don't put their hopes up and bring them down:

This was constant for me, I learnt over the years that if they said they were going to do something, chances are they weren't. This is one of the most disappointing factors, simply because there modd could change in a heartbeat. For example, there was a time where my ex promised to take me out, it was to say sorry for something that he did previously. I made sure that I looked nice, spent hours getting ready and even bought new clothes. I walked to where we were meant to meet and waited for at least an hour; for him to say, "sorry, something came up I will do it another time".
I can't stress this enough, if  you can't keep your word, or do what you say you are going to do, either change the way you treat people or leave your current partner; simply because this is heartbreaking. 

Don't take advantage of them:

Don't ask or take money:
Don't ask for money, or even guilt trip them into giving you money. That is their money, they have worked hard for that, if they want to treat you they will, but only when they want to and if they can afford to. If you ask for money on a regular basis get your own job or spend your own wages. In my case I had an ex who would constantly ask for money, and I would give it to them as they would make me feel awful if I didn't. They would also steal from me, all of my hard working pennies went on them; and not because I wanted to. This ruins relationships, I wish I left that person sooner; but because of certain circumstances I couldn't.

Never forget your friends:

When you head into a new relationship you start to put your partner before anyone else, but don't let this consume your life. You have known your friends more than this person you are currently with. I made this mistake once and I hated myself for it; I put my ex's before my friends and I regret it so much; I hurt them as I didn't make time for them. In my current relationship I share myself equally, I don't spend too much time with my boyfriend or friends; I also need alone time when it comes to it-everyone needs to relax at some point in their life. 

Don't compare your other half:

Never do this! And if you do STOP IT RIGHT NOW! The amount of time my ex's would do this, it would break my heart and shatter it to millions of pieces. I was constantly compared to other girls who had bigger boobs, bigger hips and prettier faces. It really does take a toll, it makes you feel worthless and not good enough. I always struggled putting on weight, I'm a very slim person; and with this comes no boobs. I was constantly reminded of this insecurity. If your boyfriend or girlfriend is constantly comparing you to other people; they are not worth your time. Leave them, because you are amazing in your own way, if they can't see that and won't appreciate you, then they don't deserve your beautiful self. 

This is the end of my post! Thank you so much for reading this! If you are going through this situation, then get yourself out of it! If  you want to contact me for further information then please feel to do so :). If you are reading this and you are doing this to people, leave the person you are with and change yourself; people should not be treated in this way; it ruins them for years-believe me I was a victim of this. 

I love you all so very much, I will see you tomorrow with a review! Stay safe and stay tuned Little ones! :D x x x 

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